Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Working Mother's Guide to Lactation

A funny post (if I do say so myself) I wrote about the joys of pumping breast milk.  It was published on ScaryMommy.com.  Below is just the first of ten pieces of advice.  If you're interested in reading the full post, please go to A Working Mother's Guide to Lactation.
 
The Working Mother's Guide to Lactation

Let’s face it, as much as we working moms who choose to breastfeed love to provide our hungry little nurslings with nourishing milk, pumping at work sucks. Literally.  Hopefully this will help it suck a little less…

1. Find a clean, private, and, above all, secure location in which to pump. There’s nothing more appealing than a homemade meal, maybe a nice pastrami on rye, prepared while sitting on the toilet. Wait. That doesn’t sound appealing to you?  Guess what?  I’m, likewise, not keen on serving my baby milk that was pumped in a bathroom stall.  The first thing one must do when attempting to provide baby with milk is to find a clean place in which to pump.  Preferably one in which there is not a readily available supply of toilet paper.  A locked office, a private conference room… Hell, the custodial supply closet is probably better than the john.
The one benefit a stall does offer is a sense of security. There is something to be said for being able to slide that latch closed behind you and pump with the reasonable expectation that no one will be popping his head under the door to sneak a peek at the ladies.
There are few times when I feel more vulnerable than when my nipples are being sucked in and out of transparent plastic cones. I would almost rather be caught using the toilet than caught pumping, at least every human can empathize with availing oneself of the loo.
Whatever you have to do to get comfortable, moms, get to it! Throw on your hooter hider, lock the door, jam a stop under it, and put a sign on the outside that reads, “WARNING! Enter at your own risk. Lactating mom at work.”
 


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