Feeding and Clothing a Family of 5

Feeding and Clothing a Family of 5 ©

            My mother is a master shopper.  One of my first clear memories is of my mother buying 3 work appropriate dresses at T.J. Maxx for twenty-five cents each.  How is that even possible!?!?!  I clearly remember being impressed, even as a five-year-old.  At that moment, I devoted myself to learning at the feet of the master. 

            My mom isn’t an extreme couponer/hoarder, she’s just a smart shopper.  Our fruit cellar was always packed with non-perishables that my mother had purchased on sale and with double coupons.  If she could find a good deal, she’d buy 6 or 7 boxes of Cheerios and store them.

            When my hubby and I were deciding if we wanted a 3^rd child, we knew that a 3^rd would make the difference between living a little larger or living on a strict budget.  In November 2012, we welcomed baby #3. 

Out of my 3 children, 2 are enrolled in full time daycare for 43 weeks a year.  The price is over $18,500 per year.  I’ve had to learn to buy with care, to use my storage space wisely.  Here’s what I know…

1) Buy a BJs Wholesale Club Membership (or an equivalent club membership) → I specifically like BJs for several reasons:

a) Bulk prices are cheaper.  I’ve done the comparison shopping.  If you don’t believe me, check out this NPR story about a trip to Costco being a sound investment strategy: http://www.npr.org/2013/05/30/186450423/how-a-trip-to-costco-can-work-as-an-investment-strategy.

b) Cheap(ish) gas

c) Rewards Program – If you sign up, you get 2% cash back on all (non-gas) purchases. 

Because I’m feeding a family of 5, my once monthly trips add up quickly and the program ends up paying for my membership.

d) Line of Organics/Naturals products – I am not nutty about buying organic/GMO free/whole foods/unprocessed products, especially because these products are insanely pricey.  But, I want to give my kids as much organic/natural/whole foods as we can afford.  I buy organic juices, produce, meats, dairy, and dry goods from this line.  I limit my organic produce purchases to The Dirty Dozen.  To find out which fruits and vegetables are most important to buy organic (and which you don’t need to bother buying – The Clean 15) check out this link: http://www.ewg.org/foodnews/.

e) COUPONS (THE VERY MOST IMPORTANT REASON) – BJs sends out monthly membership coupon books, as well as seasonal coupon books.  These store coupons can be combined with manufacturers’ coupons on the same items.  Take diapers, for example. Almost every month, there is a $5 coupon off of a box of Pampers.  Combined with my $2 off coupon from the paper, I am taking $7 off of a box of diapers which is already being sold at a bulk rate.  Score for me.  Generally, on my monthly trip, I save around $90 in coupons off of a $350 tab.

*A few coupon rules:

-Only buy what you need and will use, no matter how good the savings.  It is not a savings if you buy an item that is wasted.

-Use the self-checkout line. = A manufacturers’ or store coupon will generally work on any product in the line. For example, if I get a coupon for Kellogg’s Krave cereal, the coupon will usually work, even if I buy Kellogg’s Rice Krispies.  However, if I go through a line with a clerk, he/she may be fussy about the exact product that is purchased, even though the store will still be reimbursed by the company.

-They will take the store coupons past the expiration date.

Before a BJs trip, I will spend about an hour sorting through the store coupon books, checking them against my manufacturers’ coupons, and making my list.

2) Shop at Big Lots. → They have the best prices, even better than BJs and certainly better than the grocery store.  I find that I save between 25%-50% on items I buy at Big Lots.

*KEY TIP → Big Lots Rewards Card – Sign up and scan your card each time you spend $20 or more (limit of once daily).  When you reach 10 scans, you get 20% off your next purchase.  I wait to make large purchases until my discount day.  

**WARNINGS!

→Plan on taking time to browse.  Big Lots receives new items daily.  You never know what they may have, things that you didn’t know you wanted. 

→Check the expiration date.  Many times, the item is at Big Lots because it will expire sooner than later.

→If you know you like the product and price, stock up.  Big Lots cannot be counted on to have the same item next week.  When I found Earth’s Best Diapers for a full 33% cheaper than at any other store or online, I traveled to all of the different branches to buy every box they had.

3) If it’s not on clearance, you don’t need it.  Go directly to the clearance racks.  Do not pass Go and save yourself $200.

4) If you can’t use an additional coupon on the clearance item, you don’t need it. 

5) Get rid of cable.  Hello, Netflix!  We’ve also gotten rid of our home phone.

6) Kohls Cash. → There is almost always a coupon for Kohls that can be used on clearance items.  And, you can earn free money for shopping.  Many of my kids’ clothes come from the clearance racks at Kohls.

7) Groupon/Living Social → If a favorite restaurant, product, or activity is available, buy 2.  Caveat!  Make sure you actually use them.

8) Play psychic.  Predict your children’s sizes. → At the end of each season, when that season’s clothes are deeply discounted for quick sale, I buy for that same season in the following year.

9) Enter Rewards Codes → Many products have rewards codes (ex. Pampers, Coke, Kelloggs, etc.).  When you create accounts and enter the codes online, you collect points that can be redeemed for merchandise.  One of my obsessions is creating Shutterfly photo books and cards.  Luckily, Shutterfly teams with many of these companies, and I can redeem my points for gift cards that feed my addiction.

10) Find a “Consignment” Store that will buy your children’s used clothing outright. → Personally, I don’t have the time or room in my mind to keep track of consignment store pick up dates.  So, I sell my children’s gently used clothing to Once Upon a Child.  They purchase the clothing outright.

11) Memberships →  For example, one admission to The Strong Museum of Play is $13.  To take a family of 5 would cost us $65.  We go at least 10 times a year.  That $109 Family membership is well worth the upfront cost.

12) FSA → I put every cent possible into my FSA account towards child care expenses.  I can put aside $5000 per year tax free.  This saves me close to $1700 a year.

This is what I do to keep my kids clothed and fed.  What do you do?  Let me hear it!  I am always in for savings!

A Day in the Life of This Working Mom ©

A Day in the Life of This Working Mom ©

•4:50 a.m. → Yup.  You read that correctly.  My alarm goes off at 4:50 a.m.  I go to bed when it is light outside and wake up in the pitch darkness. 

•4:52 a.m. → Throw my legs over the side of the bed, drag the tray table holding my breast pump towards me, and strap myself in.  I am such a productive dairy cow that my infant daughter cannot possibly ingest the amount of milk that I have cooked up overnight. 

•4:53-5:03 a.m. → Pump.  But, I don’t JUST pump.  An effective working mom is a multi-tasking mom.  I hold the pump attachments against myself with one arm while I check email, catch up on Facebook posts, browse Amazon, and play a few rounds of Words with Friends.  Yes, I’ve perfected fitting all of this into 10 minutes.

•5:04 a.m. → Use the bathroom.  My children are still sleeping, so, thrillingly, I am alone.  I am on the toilet and am completely alone.

•5:07 – 5:15 a.m. → Personal Hygiene.  Enough said.

•5:15 – 5:20 a.m. → Dress my lower half.  You may ask, “Gee, Erin, why only your bottom half when, clearly, as a working mother, you will need to cover all of your naughty bits?”  Well, I’ll need to nurse the baby, so why bother to dress the breasts?

•5:20 – 5:30 a.m. → Daycare and Work Prep/Relaxed Breakfast (the most important meal of the day) – Set out Daughter #1’s morning snack.  Pack Son’s backpack with his lunch and probiotic laced, calcium enriched orange juice.  Pack my own prepared lunch and water bottle.  Pack the baby’s jar of solids and bottles of breast milk.  Pour rice milk over an incredibly nutritious and satisfying bowl of cold cereal.  Stuff my face full of said cereal while locating my car keys and ensuring that my purse is armed with the essentials.

•5:31 a.m. → Quietly enter the nursery to gently wake my deliciously chubby baby girl with a disgustingly sweet and lilting tune.  Coo at, baby talk to, and generally make a fool of myself to entertain said yummy chubster while diapering and dressing her.

•5:37 – 5:57 a.m. → Lug the chubster into my bed for her morning feeding.  Love that when she is hungry, she gets a look of intense ferocity on her face when she sees my nipple.  She’s about to attack her prey. 

            This is our quiet time together.  One of the definite drawbacks of being a working mom is the small amount of time on weekdays that I get to spend with my kids.  But this twenty minutes is ours.  I put all electronics aside and look directly into her eyes as she nurses.  I cuddle her, sing to her, and tell her, repeatedly, that I love her.

•5:58 a.m. → I finally dress my upper half.

•6:05 a.m. → I open my bedroom door to find my elder children (having been dressed by Daddy) waiting anxiously to jump into my bed.

•6:06 – 6:12 a.m. → My elder children squabble over who will get to hold the baby first, who will make the chubster laugh longest or loudest.  I watch them closely, memorizing their childhood.

•6:13 a.m. → We all head downstairs for final prep.  Jackets on, baby in the car seat, Daughter #1 armed with her juice and snack, and we’re out the door.

•6:17 a.m. → Pull out of the driveway and begin our trek.  Most often, the elder kiddoes begin immediately arguing over if we should listen to music and, if so, which song to which we should listen.

•6:25 a.m. → We pull into my parents’ driveway to drop the boy.  He spends his mornings there: eats his breakfast, does his homework, is probably spoiled with treats, TV, toys, and smartphone games.  The bus picks him up at 8:32 a.m. for Kindergarten.

•6:40 a.m. → Daycare drop off.  Both girls need to be delivered to their respective rooms, their supplies unpacked, and directions for the day communicated.  Baby Chubster is delivered first, which means that Big Sis gets the opportunity to touch each and every toy in the room, get up in each baby face for a rambunctious good morning greeting, and show off her dress and/or hair and/or shoes to Chubster’s teacher.  After Chubster receives two rounds of thorough kissing (one from me and one from Big Sis), she is handed over to her grandmotherly teacher, who gives her her third round of kisses.

            Daughter #1 is dropped in her room for a hearty breakfast of cereal and toast.  She also receives a through kissing and round of ‘I Love Yous’.

            Leaving my children at daycare is difficult.  There are times when I just make it out the door before the tears start streaming down my face.  And, it isn’t only on the very few mornings when one or another of my kids are crying because Mama’s leaving.  No, usually it is on a day when the kids are exceptionally happy.  They are prepared for another wonderful day of songs and art projects and playing pretend with friends and running around on the playground.  It’s me who suffers because I am sorry to leave them.

            But, that isn’t every day.  Most days I leave with the full confidence that they will have a great day, that they will learn things and experience things that they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to learn and experience if they were home with me.  I leave with the knowledge that I will appreciate the time that I have with them that afternoon/evening that much more.

•6:55 a.m. → I pull out of the parking lot on my way towards work.  It is about a seven minute drive.  This, and my drive back to daycare after work) are the only times when I am in the car alone.  Ahhhhh…my NPR time.

•7:05 a.m. → I walk through the doors of the high school and towards my office to drop off my gear before my day begins.

•7:15 a.m. – 2:15 p.m. → Teaching. This involves a range of activities that test my organizational, public speaking, disciplinary, inspirational, interpersonal, and patience skills.  I set up the classroom, take attendance, teach my lesson, work with students, and do that all again.  I pick up mail from the office, collaborate with colleagues, pump, socialize while eating lunch, make copies, lesson plan.  Repeat steps 1-5 again.

            I teach in order to earn a paycheck, yes, but it is so much more than that.  On my best days, I see the lights go on in my students’ eyes as they learn some essential skill, or I help a student to write an essay that gets him into his first choice college.

            Since becoming a mother, I am acutely aware of the fact that I am spending time away from my own children in order to educate other people’s children.  So, I am charged with a mission to make that time away from my own children worthwhile and meaningful.  I see my students as the children of caring mothers and fathers, and I work to give them what I would want my own children to receive.

•2:16 p.m. → Back to daycare for pickup.

•2:30 p.m. → When I walk into the baby room, baby Chubster looks up and beams a loving grin.  She’s happy to see me.  I collect together her supplies, chat with her teachers about her day, and haul the 500 pound car seat (ok, she’s not that big a chubster) towards the pre-school room.  Big Sis, likewise, is happy to see me.  She runs to me and gives me tight hugs.  She and the other 3-year-old girls coo and giggle over the baby as I discuss the details of Sissy’s day.

•3 p.m. – 3:35 p.m. → We arrive at home.  I barely make it up the steps and in the door, hobbled by the car seat, my school bag, two daycare bags, and two AEDs.  I rush around, stashing the bags, storing extra milk in the fridge, and getting Sissy a snack and tuning in Netflix to “Dora” before the Chubster can start to whine.  Depending on her schedule for the day, the Chubster will need to be nursed.  Often, she is in the middle of nursing when Big Brother’s bus arrives.  Which means, of course, that I will wave out the window at the bus driver with half of my breast exposed.  That makes our house his favorite stop of the day.

•3:36 p.m. – Big Brother comes running through the door requesting a snack and time on the iPad.  I pump him for information on his day at school, holding the snack and iPad as ransom.

•3:40 p.m. – I plop the baby into her bouncer or jumper or high chair and sing to her as I begin preparations for tomorrow.  I clean out daycare bags and Big Bro’s backpack, reading through the envelope of information sent home each day, addressing anything that he may need for school. I put together bottles of breast milk and jars of baby food.  Pour bottles of juice for the two older kids and put together a snack for Sissy’s morning car ride.  Brew and bottle green tea to drink the next day.  Pack my own lunch and Brother’s lunch.  Lay out outfits for all three children and myself.  Unload and reload the dishwasher.  Begin dinner prep.

•4:02 p.m. → Big Daddy Man arrives home from work to entertain the kiddoes as I continue my daily chores.

•5:15 p.m. → Dinner is served.  It is usually something healthy, home cooked, and comprised of whole grains and vegetables.  My son usually refuses to eat it, but we are of the “this isn’t a restaurant” parenting style.  Eat what you are served, or don’t eat at all.  We all eat together, at the table, without any technological interruptions, each night.

•5:45 p.m. → Big Daddy Man bathes Big Brother and Sissy as I change and nurse the baby. 

•6:15 p.m. → Once the baby goes down for the night, I may read a story to or sing a song to Big Brother and Sissy before kissing them goodnight.

•7 p.m. → At this point I am exhausted.  I may watch an hour or so of bad T.V. while picking up discarded shoes, clothes, and toys. If I’m feeling at all proactive, I may sweep the kitchen floor or vacuum.  Perhaps even do a load of laundry, which doesn’t seem to make a dent in the massive pile that collects on the floor in the basement.

•9 p.m. → I fall into bed, barely able to take off my make up, apply a thick layer of moisturizer to my aging skin, and swallow my vitamins.  I check and then double check that my alarm clock is set.  I find a comfortable position under the covers and start to feel a wave of relaxation.  As I start to drift off, I hear a sudden noise over the monitor and, although it wasn’t alarming or frightening, I need to get up and check on each of the children before I can fall to sleep, recharging for all of it to begin again tomorrow.