Below is a list of 50 or so jokes that I am going to print out, cut into strips (one per joke), and put into my 6-year-old son's school lunch each day. I'm sort of desperate to remain cool in his eyes. Feel free to join me in the quest to be a rock star mom.
Jokes I’m
Going to Put in My Kid’s Lunchbox
Q: Which side of a chicken
has the most feathers?
A: The outside!
Q: What's big, red, and
eats rocks?
A: A big, red rock eater!
Q: Why was six afraid of
seven?
A: because seven ate nine.
Q: Where do polar bears
put their money?
A: In snow banks.
Q: What did the ceiling
say to the wall?
A: Meet you in the corner!
Q: How do you make a tissue
dance?
A: You put a little boogie
in it!
Q: Why did the bubble gum
cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to
the chicken's foot.
Q: What happens when a egg
laughs?
A: It cracks up!
Q: Why did the squirrel
cross the road?
A: Because he went nuts.
Q: Why did the cow wear a
bell?
A: Because its horns don't
work!
Q: What do u get when you
cross a cow and a goat?
A: A coat!
Q: What comes after a
monkey?
A: It's tail.
Q: What goes up when the
rain comes down?
A: An Umbrella.
Q: What is fastest, hot or
cold?
A: Hot, you can catch a
cold.
Q: Where did the spaghetti
go to dance?
A: The meat ball!
Q: What always falls but
never gets hurt?
A: Rain!
Q: What kind of bow can't
be tied?
A: A rainbow.
Q: What did the water say
to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What are two things you
can't have for lunch?
A: Breakfast and dinner!
Q: What does a cloud wear
under her dress?
A: Thunder pants!
Q: What do elves learn in
school?
A: The elf-abet.
Q: Why did the girl smear
peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic
jam!
Q: What do you call a pig
that knows karate?
A: A pork chop!
Q: What bean do kids like
the best?
A: The jellybean!
Q: What sound do
porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch
Q: What animal can jump
higher than a house?
A: Any animal — a house
can't jump.
Q: Why are pianos hard to
open?
A: The keys are inside.
Q: Why are teddy bears
never hungry?
A: Because they’re always
stuffed.
Q: What are caterpillars
scared of?
A: Dogerpillars!
Q: What do sheep do on
sunny days?
A: Have a baa – baa – cue!
Q: Why did the dinosaur
cross the road?
A: There weren't any
chickens yet.
Q: What's the difference
between a fly and a bird?
A: A bird can fly but a
fly can't bird!
Q: What has four legs and
says OOM?
A: A cow walking backwards.
Q: What do Triceratops sit
on?
A: Their Tricerabottoms.
Q: What do you call a shoe
made from banana peels?
A: A slipper!
Q: What do ghosts use to
wash their hair?
A: Sham-BOO.
Q: Why does a polar bear
have a fur coat?
A: Because he would look
silly in a jacket
Q: What did one plate say
to the other plate?
A: Dinner's on me tonight!
Q: What did the baby corn
say to the Mama corn?
A: Where's my Pop corn?
Q: What do you call an
elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
Q: What is black and white
and red all over??
A: A zebra with a sunburn.
Q: How do you catch a
monkey??
A: Climb a tree and act
like a banana.
Q: Why do cowboys ride
horses?
A: Because they are too
heavy to carry.
Q: What goes up, but never
comes down?
A: Your age.
Q: When is the moon
heaviest?
A: When it's full.
Q: What do you call a
gorilla with a banana in each ear?
A: Anything you like, he
can't hear you.
Q: Why do seagulls fly
over the sea?
A: If they flew over the
bay, they would be bagels.
Q: What is the biggest ant
in the world?
A: An eleph-ant.
Q: What does a cat like to
eat on a hot summer's day?
A: A mice cream cone.
Q: What kind of animal is
always found at baseball games?
A: The bat.
Q: Where is the best place
to park a dog?
A: In a barking lot.
